When I get tired, I tend to tell people what I do in EVERY instance. This is wrong.

Wise sir, do not grieve. It is always better to avenge dear ones than to indulge in mourning. -Beowulf

Endure your troubles today. Bear up and be the man I expect you to be. -Beowulf

You are strong in body and mature in mind, impressive in speech. If it should come to pass that hrethel's descendant dies beneath a spear, if deadly battle or the sword blade or disease fells the prince who guards your people and you are still alive, then I firmly believe the seafaring Geats a man worthier of acclaim ad their king and defender than you, if only you would undertake the lordship of your homeland. My liking for you deepens with time, dear Beowulf.

Gez, it's like I have been wearing my emotions on my sleeve lately! Everyone around me is getting serious with people, and I continue to remain 'me'. This is ok, but I slip into moments of loneliness and sadness  The problem is that others notice this! NOT OKAY. This is not the best that God has for me, and I must continue to think on the things that are good. Until next time, pray that I have the strength to do this life alone!

My identity is not based upon my successes, the things I own, or the people I know.

It annoys me when I think I can eat whatever I want after I help people get out of situations. It totally wrecks my healthy-eating plan! Also, when I am dehydrated, I eat! DRINK WATER!!!

I also eat to stay awake. Keep thus in mind when I am tired, bring protein crunchy snacks!!

A discipleship program needs to be created on working with the experienced and mature in faith. I see great leaders, leaders that are known by word of mouth, even simple leaders that don't have to worry about the spotlight all fail on 'working with the believer where he is at'. Now, while this usually applies to guest speakers passing through, don't think you're off the hook. Both groups are guilty of trying to see the overall picture and missing the individuals looking right at them; these people need guidance, but you prepare for how you will look and how you will seem. You go where God wants you to through self sacrifice. Pay attention to these individuals, ESPECIALLY the ones that annoy you. Giving up our old, fleshly bodies will allow us to become part of the new creation God wants us to be collectively.

No matter how big you get, you can always get small. It is NOT about you...remember that! You should be as true to a random person on the street as you are to your closest confidant. Don't allow Satan to make you feel like you have to act to anyone. You are who you are because God created you, and you did nothing to go where you are going. God won. God saved the day. Put the pressure on Him, not on your speaking performances. Trust that God will use you, and move ON. You do not have a 'magic switch' you can turn on. You are either being who you are and allowing yourself to be transformed on and off the stage, or you are being phony while your people need real.


Yes, we all go after the nonbeliever because we desire to show him the Light, but remember that individuals in the faith are so important too! Be yourself wherever you go, even when you mess up, and always make time for the single person, no matter how showy and impressive your plate gets. Let's continue showing people the people the true heart of laying our old natures down and taking up Hos cross. You will notice, the more you give up, the more your life will be seen by others. It's like being a fully-open book and everyone is reading about your failures and successes. Many shallow people will fall away because they do not yet know how to love at a level when someone has shown you his all, but you are not after them; you are after the heart of God, for it is in this state where He will deepen your heart, move your heart strings around, and change you to what's you were created to become.

Be honest about that to both yourself and your listeners! Good luck!!

Every time I try to plug into abide, I commit to something and suddenly, things come out of nowhere or suddenly remembered. This has happened about four times, and I am starting to think timing is off regarding my involvement. The time must not be yet.

Time lessens all extremes, and reduces 'em to mediums and unconcern -Royal Slave

Boundaries: between the people I love and the people others love; between my decisions to love and spend time with people I want to pursue; to sleep and be private in my room doing whatever instead of being around company; to decide to end anything I put time into whenever I want to; to try my best in things I enjoy without my friends' approval; to be myself without their approval; to uphold my values despite how others cherish them

In other news, I have finally discovered my criteria for relationships. Think upside down triangle: Tier 1 (largest tier): This is the basis of my relationships...realistic expectations...for instance, when someone needs me to work for them, but I have a game or party or something to be at, I need them to understand that I have a life and respect my 'life happenings'. This is the largest tier because this is the basis of any of my friendships towards developing and getting deeper. If a person is not willing to understand that I am trying and gives me credit and meets me 'where I am', this person is not for me friend/deep relationship. Tier 2: Is the people relational level. If I am invited to a Christmas or Hanukkah party or some holiday that I want to get to know people at, I will totally go provided that tier 1 requirements have been meet, and I am able to meet the host 'where I am'. I will do about anything for anybody, and I will have fun in every instance. Christian friends/Messianic friends/other friends....they all run together, and as long as the first tier is met, I will do WHATEVER to hang with them. I am for Christmas because I am for relational. I am for family gatherings because I am relational. Etc. Tier 3: is the smallest tier because many friends are not compatible enough to go as deep with me .For the rare few that have passed levels one and two, level three is simply, my 'Messianic beliefs'. These are simple. They are important to me, and I follow them when I have met all of the requirements in both tiers one and two. For instance, if something came up on passover, I will do that because that is my obligation. If my friend needs to get together, he comes before any feasts I do. etc. This level is deep and small, but it is not that impressive. I do the commandments because I want to; I honestly cant tell through drama if I am supposed to or not, but Ive done it so many years growing up that it has become part of my culture.

People get to know me, but at different platforms. If they clear all platforms, I consider him/her a close friend. People who are stuck on level 1 ususally dont get much attention because that is who I am on the very basis level, level two gets more attention, but if people are stuck there, they will not see my Messianic side. And of course, because each friendship is different, people are dispersed throughout this diagram. I can safely say that there are only three people that have passed all three levels, and I hold these people dearly.