I am nervous! Am I ready to open my life up to another person??? Am I ready to apply time to building another human being up so much that she could leave me and exceed at having a better life? Will this distract me from God’s work? These are all interesting though thought provoking questions. I worry that dating will distract me from my studies, BUT, at the same time, I believe I purposely make myself busy so I will have no time. To step out of my bubble and give this option a try will be me conquering a whole new fear. I will have to have a cheer squad waiting for me after the first or second date because I WILL need to talk about my time. So many thoughts are on the back burner….my mom said she was never supposed to get married. Perhaps I am also not? What if she leads me down roads that are not of God?

I guess I realize the biggest change/necessary pruning that will occur will be filtering through my current life and leaving behind things and people that I have been holding onto tightly because of anxiety of this very thing. It will be a good thing. God has changes for me that have to occur, so I can see what his plan for me includes next. Haha, oh, moving on in the chapter book is SO hard!

Haha, I feel that I have built up everything and everyone as best as possible in this stage. I have gone above and beyond, and I know others will use what they were given to pass down to the next generation. It is bittersweet…..the life I planned for and fought for I achieved, and now it’s about moving on to the next thing.

This next thing is completely different from what I am used to. It is a new refining process. Being concerned about another person is so difficult; what does living the ultimate life look like in this stage? This chapter become two sections. Goodness, when my focus becomes the joyous life I can have with my wife and our options. …………wow; the possibilities and dreams are coming. This is going to be fun. Lol Let’s go into this with strength! Let’s go into this with courage. With hope. That no matter WHAT happens, this will be for the better. The big picture of what our lives will celebrate, enjoy, and believe will continue to outweigh life’s obstacles. Those obstacles will be the very things that make us even better people. Let’s show Christ’s love in this and learn from it even in deeper depths when we overcome sin and distractions. Goodness, what a life God has planned in this.

PPST Testing....

I cannot TELL YOU how frustrating it is to study SO hard at something yet fail to accomplish it. I am taking the PPST on Thursday, and I just cannot exceed the reading comprehension standard. On SO many questions, the answers could go either way. I get repreminded if I select an implied answer, yet I get the question wrong if I don't consider anything suggested while making my choice. It is disappointing.....and discouraging. I am not doing terribly; I am averaging 60% and passing is 75%. That really is what is so saddening! I am so close yet so far away. What's more? It seems that the more I study and apply effort, the lower my score results. This is heart breaking....now, with that vent, back to the books! =)

Could I just go off for a moment? Thanks!! I am tired, tired of the way many people see culture. Yes, guys like girls, but do the extras have to be included? As humans, cheating by not having flaws in our culture would be bland and unchallenging; remember, life is about overcoming challenges, so yes, cultural flaws are a part of the process of world and should be accepted. 

Fact: guys absolutely do NOT want high maintenance women....yes, your hair might perfect, but the way you prepare just is not practical. Guys want women that don't mind getting wet or muddy on occasion. We want REAL. We want PRACTICAL. Honestly, in a world where girls are constantly comparing themselves with others, I don't see how they can get the time to have a quality relationship with somebody. Guys want pretty, but not at the cost of mascara anxieties.

#2 Ladies, hear me clear, GUYS. MAKE. MISTAKES. in fact, it should be what you find attractive about them.  Make your man feel comfortable. If you can accomplish this task, uour man will be instoppable. You will see him for who he is, and he will overtake you with passion because he WANTS to ravish you with love. When guys make mistakes, uplift them  and respect them. A man knowing that he is not in his worst mistake alone will give himself the confidence to move mountains.

Nobody is perfect, but if you are constantly worrying about your appearance, guys will feel insecure about not keeping to the same standard. Relationships are not about looks; they are about HEARTS. Don't let society take you with their lies. Be the person you are 100%

#3 It bugs me beyond end when I see guys or girls look away after a person of the opposite sex gives them a smile. Rude. Remember that your civil right to respect others can be accomplished without dating them. A smile is just a smile. A friendly hello is just a friendly hello. Too often I find individuals glaring at others because they immediately jump to a possible dating prospect. Get over yourselves and return the gesture.

#4 Always be ready to talk to the other person; this is key number 1 to successful communication skills in marriage, the heartbeat of a successful marriage. Yelling at others without giving them a chance to speak is destructive and not Gods best. We were made to push out struggles together, but if one party simply gives up, the heartbeat will quit. 



#5 Ladies, have the confidence to know that you are beautiful. Guys enjoy you because of the way you see yourselves....promise! I have seen SO MANY normal appearing people score hugely attractive husbands/wives BECAUSE of the way they see themselves; they have the confidence to accept who they are as people and as potential world changers. Please don't ruin this beauty by spending hours in the restroom or by talking about your skin on the date. Understand, your confidence is there. Go out and learn about others!

I'm struggling to find myself worthy of this -biggest loser These last couple of days I keep fighting it....I keep fighting the growth that I need because it's too hard. ...and when it get's too hard, I'm used to running. ...and I want to run, SO bad. I've never done anything for myself. I'm just letting my walls down....letting my walls down, letting it work....letting myself grow. instead of running away through it, you run into it. and let it beat me down, so I can come out....a better man. -Biggest Loser Deal with your problems proactively. Get on the treadmill. -Biggest Loser The more you try to control something; the more it's going to be out of your control. -Biggest Loser