I am nervous! Am I ready to open my life up to another person??? Am I ready to apply time to building another human being up so much that she could leave me and exceed at having a better life? Will this distract me from God’s work? These are all interesting though thought provoking questions. I worry that dating will distract me from my studies, BUT, at the same time, I believe I purposely make myself busy so I will have no time. To step out of my bubble and give this option a try will be me conquering a whole new fear. I will have to have a cheer squad waiting for me after the first or second date because I WILL need to talk about my time. So many thoughts are on the back burner….my mom said she was never supposed to get married. Perhaps I am also not? What if she leads me down roads that are not of God?

I guess I realize the biggest change/necessary pruning that will occur will be filtering through my current life and leaving behind things and people that I have been holding onto tightly because of anxiety of this very thing. It will be a good thing. God has changes for me that have to occur, so I can see what his plan for me includes next. Haha, oh, moving on in the chapter book is SO hard!

Haha, I feel that I have built up everything and everyone as best as possible in this stage. I have gone above and beyond, and I know others will use what they were given to pass down to the next generation. It is bittersweet…..the life I planned for and fought for I achieved, and now it’s about moving on to the next thing.

This next thing is completely different from what I am used to. It is a new refining process. Being concerned about another person is so difficult; what does living the ultimate life look like in this stage? This chapter become two sections. Goodness, when my focus becomes the joyous life I can have with my wife and our options. …………wow; the possibilities and dreams are coming. This is going to be fun. Lol Let’s go into this with strength! Let’s go into this with courage. With hope. That no matter WHAT happens, this will be for the better. The big picture of what our lives will celebrate, enjoy, and believe will continue to outweigh life’s obstacles. Those obstacles will be the very things that make us even better people. Let’s show Christ’s love in this and learn from it even in deeper depths when we overcome sin and distractions. Goodness, what a life God has planned in this.