It is great to be in a relationship with a girl who is not with me because she is attracted to my confidence but because she likes my personality. She has her own confidence. I do not have to compete against a completely insecure person. This feels so nice!


I do not want to try to be romantic because I feel I will eventually fail as a man, as a husband, I will not be able to keep to the standard or the choices expected. I will fail her, both families, and I will take the title as yet another divorcée. I have kept my life together and have went against the Loftus standard, yet I do not know if I can survive this more intense round. It's like a fear of being 'found out'. I want love, and I want my heart to mend, but the question is whether to do it at the risk of others.