I see you. Your pride. You not understanding the love of God....yet. You think you have to do works to be acceptable in His eyes. This will be a hard thing for you to learn. Your heart, Spirit, and soul says something else, but you cannot go there with your mind because these other things weigh you down like a big duck bill looking wood thing. The wood is hollow, and I SO WISH the Lord would allow me to break it off. But it is not my place. You feel His heart moving you. It is something you have hungered for for quite sometime. Still, I dont think you quite understand yet that you will only allow yourself to go so far. Your wooden duck bill gets in the way. Still, Ravish her, Lord. Use her. In her current predicament, see what she is doing for you, and be blessed. Look at the intentions and remove the flesh....if there is still anything left. You must understand that you cannot go where God hasnt led told you to go. If you want to follow the Lord here and do things for Him, then do them under His call. Doing things "for Him" without His leading is your flesh trying to be good. There is no good in you.