How is it that someone else's poor choices can hurt you with such effect?

People's wrong moves should not be allowed to be as painful as they are, but many are.

It's not weakness on your part; it can't be. How can I change something I never was given the choice to make so long ago in the first place? Was my father trying to hurt his children? Was he thinking?

More importantly, can this pattern of hurt really change...to the point where sadness is nonexistent? The generations after me will be affected either way. The generation before m will also continue to be present. What is the strong approach here? Is it to maintain? Is it to change with other children I see around? Is it possible to begin changing internally? How do you wake up the numbness of wishing one was loved? The work it took to get there! The obstacles I was able to overcome by remaining indifferent. This has to happen for me to truly be the man I need to be to my children. It's like a cavity that needs to be reopened.

Other thoughts: why did God allow me here in the first place? I would have known I needed Him even without this. The need could had been just as deep.

Why did my daddy not do his job?